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It started when I was a child.
Always running wild, through the streets of my town.
Never letting anything bring me down.
Just up on that swing set, feet never touching the ground.
Now this sounds like a lyrical bit.
But I’m not lyrically gifted.
So don’t get it twisted.
Rap is my mistress, witness a poets flow.
Grow through the sound of my vocal cords.
Unable to afford, the things I needed.
Houses always heated, as a child I was misleaded.
Doubt was seeded, in my mind.
It grew to a tree, choked by the vines.
Of the lies, every time you said we were doing just fine.
Now I rhyme, to get these thoughts, off my mind.
Looking to find, some inner peace and escape my enemies.
The friends of me, the family, who liked to sip those cans, over putting food on the table.
Labeled as white trash in the mornings, my momma couldn’t support me.
Grew up horny always look for some ass.
Instead of looking to pass class.
That feeling hits you so fast, like flame to gas.
I had to pass up, things I wanted, never feeling like enough.
I’ve never been good with this family stuff.
It was rough, tough luck.
Feeling stuck in a rut, looking to snuff the doubt out.
At the root, only thing is I never knew, where that was.
Till I met the man up above.
His love guided my way, I must say.
I’m very thankful for that day, that he grabbed my hand when I lost my way.
Saved my life, twice, the price was his son’s life.
Yeah money’s nice, but Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice.
Adding the spice to my life, I was always looking for.
Feeling his presence every time, I walk through that door.
Thanks, is something I can finally afford.
Giving my life to the Lord.
Fully submitted, don’t get it twisted.
I’m no slave, I was saved by his grace, now I laugh in Satan’s face.
But my life is still at stake, in every decision I make.
So I look to his word for guidance, he supplied us with a weapon.
Against the enemy, that holy water is the remedy.
He’s a friend of me, and you.
With the Holy Spirit I’m renewed.
Forgiven the family feud, and my diluted view on love.
All thanks to the one up above.
To be honest I’m astonished, I put this together so fast.
What like 10 minutes past, and I’m almost in my last line.
These rhymes seem to find, their way to my mind.
They crawl to the surface, piecing together my purpose.
Feeling like a wordsmith, but I’m modest.
Paying homage to the only one who deserves it.
The one who placed the verses in the Apostle Paul.
The one who rules us all.
He holds to world of tomorrow in his palm.
The least we can do is worship him in song.
I know it won’t be long, till I’ll be with my father.
Not the biological, but the spiritual, the one who actually cares.
Not the one who disappeared.
Even though I look like him, in a mirror.
Living without fear.
My visions clear.
The reunion, of our peers is near.
Do I keep going, I am left never knowing.
But if these words keep flowing.
Who am I to stop the poet-ry, from flowing out of me.
Unable to cauterize the wound.
Soon, it will stop itself.
Or I will be depleted of something else.
Maybe my health.
Who knows, as long as I have my poems to vent.
And repent for my sins.
I will win, this game of life.
I feel though I’ve spun the wheel once or twice.
Landing on the unfavorable, messing with my behavioral patterns.
Distorting the atoms.
The composition of my body.
This poetry is more than a hobby.

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Seasons of Love

For some reason, I know I’ll always be someone’s second.
And with the changing of the season, it will be nothing new.
The falling of leaves is nothing different.
We all know the snow follows.
So why do we act surprised.
As soon as those snowflakes start falling from the sky.
Is it because we know that the landscape will become frozen.
So when things get difficult.
All of a sudden I’m not worth it.
Like you knew it was going to happen.
The cycle of life repeats itself.
Every year the white blanket​ returns.
Every summer my stomach churns.
It wretches at the thoughts of the ones lost.
The ones who left because I was a lost cause, to them.
The best friends, turning to pretend.
In the end, my head repeats the same lines.
Why do you try to find love?
You will never be enough, for someone else.
They will never except your state of mental health.
So I’m left in a drought, unable to get a drop out.
A single bead of moisture is all I need.
To moisten my lips.
To bring my hands off my hips, that were placed there during my time of exhaustion.
During that season I was forgotten.
Like a song from the 90’s.
You can find me, buried on the shelf of dusty records.
The ones that no longer get any playtime.
Laying here waiting for someone to hit the rewind on time, to clear this dirt from the surface.
To see that I still have purpose.
Yes I’m broken, but not beyond repair.
Do I dare to ask for your help.
Or will you leave like everyone else.
Is it too much to ask for someone’s hand.
To help me up.
Is it too much to ask you to be a crutch.
That I may lean on during my time of need.
I fear my knees, can no longer support the house of stone.
This house that was built through this life I have lived alone.
This home people speak of was non existent to me.
You see, I was an alien within those walls.
My presence was unwanted, so it seemed.
Now all I want is to be free from the chains.
That have held me down.
But I cannot gather the power from my legs to get myself out.
So I will lay here and wither much like a tree in the winter.
Just wishing someone would warm my core, my soul, that is what love is for.
Not to rob one of their joy, it’s not a toy you can just play with.
I just wish someone would see this love I have inside of me.

The Millennial Gentleman

Through this screen.

I am unable to be seen, for my true self.
They cannot understand the wealth, I have within my soul.
They just see these text conversations grow old.
I practice restraint.
With my emotions.
Even though it destroys me.
I want to open up.
Like a fresh wound, and spill my thoughts.
Let this ink flow, from my mind.
So I can unwind.
Untie these shackles that I have put on my soul.
Unable to do so because they are left unsold.
On my pitch.
The one that comes from these finger tips, and not my genuine self.
The gentleman, the one who goes unnoticed because they are just focused on the millennial love.
Emoji’s, Snapchat stories, the phony side of things.
They are looking for a king, marriage, someone they can bring home to their parents.
Based off of his text game, the one where he treats every woman the same.
Replacing their names with bae, starting every conversation with hey.
Not caring about what’s on the inside, no.
Just caring about the thickness of her thighs.
Now left unable to sift through the lies, one after another you realize, all these guys are the same.
(We know that isn’t true)
They only want one thing.
To stain your purity, for their own gain.
Giving up maturity, for pain.
Unfortunately I don’t fit this mold.
I was always told, treat a lady right.
But that’s not what gets you texts in the middle of the night.
Chivalry isn’t dead, that’s something in your head.
You have just grown blind and lost your sight.
Your respect for yourself is dead, you have left it behind.
Time after time, you repeat this vicious cycle.
While you leave the ones who care, in your phone on idle.
Sadly I’m one of those few.
Who never make it into the view.
Left alone dying.
Trying to open up.
I’ve learned being a gentleman isn’t enough, anymore.
Holding the door, open has no meaning.
Hoping someone will see me, for me.
But I’m left stuck, behind the screen.
My soul remaining unseen.

Loneliness

I find it hard to explain what I’m feeling. Loneliness is very deceiving.
It has me believing, I’m worthless.
I feel it stealing my breathes.
It echos down through the depths of my chest.
Loneliness has put me to the test.
I confess, most of the time I feel alone.
I feel like a stone placed in a mighty river.
The water flows right past.
It notices I’m cracked.
But doesn’t stop to ask.
Loneliness, has a grasp on my thoughts.
It’s stealing minutes off my clock.
Leaving me disoriented and lost.
I no longer can afford this cost.
Of isolation.
It brings me dark temptations.
It stirs the coals of my imagination.
But smoke just rises from the pit.
Loneliness, I’ve had enough of it.
Invisible to those passing me by.
Just wishing someone would stop and say hi.
I stare at my phone for hours just hoping for a reply.
Loneliness has a hold on this guy.
Why do i feel like I have committed a crime.
Doing time is solitary confinement.
Loneliness I’ve study the assignment.
But still I can’t pass.
Guessing on my answers, I may be wrong or right.
I get more confused as day turns to night.
I see smiles all around.
Yet I can only show a frown.
When my head isn’t facing the ground.
I prefer to move without a sound.
Loneliness has taught me to not walk aloud.
For I know I will be noticed, the first few days will bring my hope that I may not be alone.
After a few days there is silence from my phone.
Left hopeless, and alone.
Loneliness shows me my life, and how I spend it on my own.
Even my poems can’t draw anyone near.
As soon as I see light the darkness reappears.
Steering blindly through the curves.
Hearing all the lies in your words.
Loneliness, my mind it does disturb.

Her Radiance

Her beauty,
It takes your breath away,
Like a mountain view,
Or witnessing the start of the day,
Just like the morning dew,
Here smile sparkles,
Brighter than the finest diamonds,
Her skins radiance,
Is comparable to the stars,
As they dance,
In the night sky,
She is the pearl,
Found at the depths of the sea,
She is translucent,
She is clarity.

Self Suffocation

Always in a hurry.
My mind is anyways,
I always seem to worry,
Majority of the days,
If my mind was a car,
It would not make it that far,
Spinning out of control,
For reasons I don’t even know,
I’m down in my woes,
The doors are shut,
Locks are froze,
Seatbelt is unfastened,
Just waiting for something,
Tragic to happen,
And just like that I got my wish,
Why do I have to be like this,
My lungs struggle for air,
I gasp,
Yet no one seems to care,
I’m afraid the damage,
Is to significant to repair.

C|O