Through this screen.
I am unable to be seen, for my true self.
They cannot understand the wealth, I have within my soul.
They just see these text conversations grow old.
I practice restraint.
With my emotions.
Even though it destroys me.
I want to open up.
Like a fresh wound, and spill my thoughts.
Let this ink flow, from my mind.
So I can unwind.
Untie these shackles that I have put on my soul.
Unable to do so because they are left unsold.
On my pitch.
The one that comes from these finger tips, and not my genuine self.
The gentleman, the one who goes unnoticed because they are just focused on the millennial love.
Emoji’s, Snapchat stories, the phony side of things.
They are looking for a king, marriage, someone they can bring home to their parents.
Based off of his text game, the one where he treats every woman the same.
Replacing their names with bae, starting every conversation with hey.
Not caring about what’s on the inside, no.
Just caring about the thickness of her thighs.
Now left unable to sift through the lies, one after another you realize, all these guys are the same.
(We know that isn’t true)
They only want one thing.
To stain your purity, for their own gain.
Giving up maturity, for pain.
Unfortunately I don’t fit this mold.
I was always told, treat a lady right.
But that’s not what gets you texts in the middle of the night.
Chivalry isn’t dead, that’s something in your head.
You have just grown blind and lost your sight.
Your respect for yourself is dead, you have left it behind.
Time after time, you repeat this vicious cycle.
While you leave the ones who care, in your phone on idle.
Sadly I’m one of those few.
Who never make it into the view.
Left alone dying.
Trying to open up.
I’ve learned being a gentleman isn’t enough, anymore.
Holding the door, open has no meaning.
Hoping someone will see me, for me.
But I’m left stuck, behind the screen.
My soul remaining unseen.
I find it hard to explain what I’m feeling. Loneliness is very deceiving.
It has me believing, I’m worthless.
I feel it stealing my breathes.
It echos down through the depths of my chest.
Loneliness has put me to the test.
I confess, most of the time I feel alone.
I feel like a stone placed in a mighty river.
The water flows right past.
It notices I’m cracked.
But doesn’t stop to ask.
Loneliness, has a grasp on my thoughts.
It’s stealing minutes off my clock.
Leaving me disoriented and lost.
I no longer can afford this cost.
It brings me dark temptations.
It stirs the coals of my imagination.
But smoke just rises from the pit.
Loneliness, I’ve had enough of it.
Invisible to those passing me by.
Just wishing someone would stop and say hi.
I stare at my phone for hours just hoping for a reply.
Loneliness has a hold on this guy.
Why do i feel like I have committed a crime.
Doing time is solitary confinement.
Loneliness I’ve study the assignment.
But still I can’t pass.
Guessing on my answers, I may be wrong or right.
I get more confused as day turns to night.
I see smiles all around.
Yet I can only show a frown.
When my head isn’t facing the ground.
I prefer to move without a sound.
Loneliness has taught me to not walk aloud.
For I know I will be noticed, the first few days will bring my hope that I may not be alone.
After a few days there is silence from my phone.
Left hopeless, and alone.
Loneliness shows me my life, and how I spend it on my own.
Even my poems can’t draw anyone near.
As soon as I see light the darkness reappears.
Steering blindly through the curves.
Hearing all the lies in your words.
Loneliness, my mind it does disturb.
It takes your breath away,
Like a mountain view,
Or witnessing the start of the day,
Just like the morning dew,
Here smile sparkles,
Brighter than the finest diamonds,
Her skins radiance,
Is comparable to the stars,
As they dance,
In the night sky,
She is the pearl,
Found at the depths of the sea,
She is translucent,
She is clarity.
Always in a hurry.
My mind is anyways,
I always seem to worry,
Majority of the days,
If my mind was a car,
It would not make it that far,
Spinning out of control,
For reasons I don’t even know,
I’m down in my woes,
The doors are shut,
Locks are froze,
Seatbelt is unfastened,
Just waiting for something,
Tragic to happen,
And just like that I got my wish,
Why do I have to be like this,
My lungs struggle for air,
Yet no one seems to care,
I’m afraid the damage,
Is to significant to repair.
It was there,
In the pit of dispare,
Where I had almost given up hope,
I was at the end of my rope,
Until you cast the light,
That illminated the dark of night,
Giving me back my sight,
Allowing me to fight,
Restoring my fading life.
I thought you were different,
I thought you cared,
I thought I was winning,
I was not prepared,
For you to be like everyone else,
Just interested in themselves,
I gave you everything I had,
To keep you afloat,
When you needed it most,
Now here I lay,
Broken and frayed,
Left with nothing,
You took all that remained.
Behind a vault door,
Fears and so much more,
Masked by the illusion,
I have frequently doubted,
Reaching the conclusion,
I will always be surrounded,
By a two-way mirror,
That’s in between,
Confidence and fear.