A Year Ago

It’s been just over a year,
Since I have made my thoughts appear clear,
Verbalization has never been a talent of mine,
So I depend on these lines and rhymes,
To get me through the tough times,
Where my own thoughts are like a disease,
Eating away at the inside of me,
There have been days where I didn’t want to wake up,
Times I just wanted to give up,
This poetry was always enough,
To get me through the rough stuff,
I’ve written poems on my love for someone else,
Too bad they were only interested in themselves,
So many words wasted,
So many songs and views tainted,
With the image of you,
Now the lenses of my eyes have been renewed,
When I feel lonely I no longer think of you,
My words have taken a new direction,
These words now have a purpose other than protection,
From myself,
They speak truth and offer help,
Ive been through some dark days,
Days of addiction,
Looking back and it almost seems like fiction,
Back to the times I wanted to end my own life,
Thankful for the times I thought twice on the decision,
Now I have vision and I’m on a mission,
To spread love to anyone who can hear it,
Show compassion to anyone who can feel it,
Let my actions speak to those who can see it,
I’m a new man saved by Jesus.


Missing Rythmes

Each message sent,
Is one too many,
As I slowly cascade into this decent,
Feelings remain unnamed,
Though I’m connected to the anchor of their weight,
I push those feelings into the darkest corners of my heart,
I fear when I bleed they will surface,
These thoughts of you will tear me apart,
Vocalization can fix this,
Instead I choose to twist it,
Into knots in the pit of stomach,
So the butterflies will not be released,
I don’t want to wander this road,
Staring at my feet,
With my heart skipping every other beat,
Those missing rythmes,
Leaving my chest to find you,
Casting themselves free,
So some of me may remain alive,
While the rest of me dies,
Sewn shut is my mouth,
These words are trapped,
I promised myself I would not let them out,
For this river of love,
Is in a drought.

The Serpent

From day one the serpent had twisted his way into our minds,
I find he has had an easy time reaching mine,
Strangling me in sin,
Making it harder to get into worship,
Diluting my purpose,
There was a time when he did wind,
His tail around my throat and he suffocated me,
I had lost all hope,
I popped open that pill bottle,
One swift action away from death,
It would have been easy to take this weight off my chest,
This life has never been easy,
It’s been a challenge at best,
It hasn’t felt like a test,
No it’s more like an essay,
Stained with my trials,
Reconciled in Christ,
See Christ stopped me from ending my own life,
He made me think twice,
He told me to put down the dice,
For the first time,
I took a breath and there was life,
I knew this pain just wouldn’t suffice,
I changed my mind-set,
I grew,
Left the old me behind,
Left my room renewed,
See the enemy is weak,
He hides in the shadows,
And our God is great,
He brings me to my knees,
He took my sin the gallows,
Washed in the blood of the Lamb,
A new man,
Walks this earth,
One who knows what it’s like to live in the dirt,
Now I can spread his message,
I can bring others to him,
And rejoice to the heavens,
For my life is borrowed,
It’s not mine,
I lived a life of sorrow and crime,
Now those things are left behind,
I kicked them to the curb,
Now I live through one single word,
The man who gave his life,
So we could keep ours,
He’s the one who wears the scars.

The Narrow Road

This road winds,
Twists and climbs,
My destination is unknown,
I don’t know what I will find,
At the end of the path,
The dust flies behind me,
My tires spinning,
Aiming to gain traction,
It’s hopeless when the aim is self-satisfaction,
Along this drive there are many distractions,
Some are obvious,
Others are hidden,
We must hold on,
To these breaths we’re given,
My suspension is worn stiff,
It becomes evident as the road starts to dip,
I jerk the wheel hoping for a reaction,
Just retraction,
From my old sinful actions,
It’s crazy how fast life can happen,
One minute you’re here,
The next you’re gone,
Wondering where I went wrong,
That old cassette,
Plays the song,
That haunts my dreams,
Pulling up memories,
Of those days that seemed to never end,
Until the day you told me it was all pretend,
My friend was lost along the way,
Or maybe they were tossed aside,
Making a way for me,
To get to my destination,
I have to believe,
Or else,
This heart I wear on my sleeve,
Would be torn in two,
But it’s not that way,
When I think of you,
It seems to be glued together,
Like my hands to this leather,
Unable to part ways,
From the truth,
I love with my whole heart,
Anyone and everyone,
That’s the best part,
It’s not just reserved for those who give it back,
It’s given freely to me,
So I must give it back.
I’m loved beyond description,
I know I have a mission,
And when I reach the end of the road,
I know I won’t be alone.


This gift, is unreal.
Able to mix these words up.
Tearing the rift, finding the fruits of my labor.
Putting these thoughts on paper.
Giving praise to the maker.
Creating the shaker for my pepper.
Give me the spice to my life.
I was born not once but twice.
Once from my mother, the other that night.
I tried to give my life, like Anakin.
Palpatine tried to draw me in.
Little did I know, God was always gonna win.
Over my spirit, my soul, and my body, he let me feel it.
His grace overcame the end of the knife.
He took away the blade, he saved my life.
Now I’m dedicated to Christ.
I was always his, predetermined fate is what that is.
I was unable to strangle the demons on my own.
The Holy Spirit pushed me, to pick up the phone.
Dial my brother that gloomy night.
That night I gave my life to Christ.
Crazy thinking a couple of months before.
I was banging on the enemies door.
Asking him to let me in.
My life, was dedicated to sin.
Living for the flesh.
My happiness was mediocre at best.
I didn’t have to pass a test to receive his grace.
No he was always in pursuit,
I just pushed those voices aside.
Rather live for myself,
Than stay alive.
Now I’m humbled, in my own skin.
Modest, I’m still tempted by sin.
But now I give that to the Lord.
My reward.
Eternity to live.
A life pure, free from sin.
Hundred years from now when I’m reminiscing.
I’ll remember that night the old me went missing.

The Silent Killer

Why do we deny, others of their own feelings.
For the pain they feel is something very real.
No life is lived the same as another.
Your neighbor may be smothered, by feelings of depression.
Looking for someone to reach out, but you deny them your hand.
Instead you tell them to be happy, without trying to understand.
This depression is violent, yet it acts in silence.
Delivering crippling blows, while the person is all alone.
Leaving scars unseen on the surface.
Wondering the purpose of life.
This depression leads many to end their own life.
We morn the loss of someone’s passing.
Without really understanding, why.
Obviously they were depressed.
But since there is no criminal to arrest, we brush it under the rug.
Like it wasn’t the depression that stole the breath from their lungs.
Why do we dismiss this very cruel disease.
Why do we deny the warning signs of suicide.
Those struggling I’m telling you please don’t hide.
Do not wait till it is too late.
There are those that love you.
Those that care.
Don’t be scared to speak up, please be aware.
Yes life is rough, but you are loved.